The UXer’s Networking Toolkit

From First Message to Follow-Up

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Oct 06, 2025

Networking has a bad reputation in UX circles.
It feels transactional. Forced. Sometimes even fake.

But, the best opportunities in UX, mentorships, job offers, collaborations, often start with a single message. The problem isn’t networking itself; it’s how we approach it.

This issue breaks down the exact messages, tone, and strategies that make networking feel natural, not needy.

In This Issue

Why Networking Feels Awkward (and How to Fix It)
The Psychology of Genuine Connection
Templates That Actually Sound Like You
What to Say After You Connect
Follow-Up That Feels Natural, Not Forced
Networking for Introverts
UXCON25 Spotlight: The Power of Community
Resource Corner

Why Networking Feels Awkward (and How to Fix It)

Networking feels uncomfortable when it’s one-sided, when we approach people only when we need something.

But real networking is relationship building.
It’s about curiosity, shared interests, and appreciation.

The mindset shift: Don’t reach out to get. Reach out to learn.

The Psychology of Genuine Connection

Humans respond to three things: specificity, sincerity, and similarity.

Specificity: “Your talk at UX Lisbon made me rethink how I present research findings.”
Sincerity: “I’m early in my UX career, but your story about rejection really resonated.”
Similarity: “I also transitioned from psychology to UX… I’d love to hear how you approached it.”

These are not scripts. They’re signals of effort, and effort builds trust.

Templates That Actually Sound Like You

Example 1: Cold Message on LinkedIn

Hi [Name], I came across your post on [topic] and it really resonated. I’m exploring how to [specific area] and would love to hear how you approached it at [company].
No rush on replying… just wanted to say thanks for sharing your work publicly.

Why it works: You’re not asking for a favor. You’re opening a door.

Example 2: After a Conference or Event

Hi [Name], I attended your session at [event name]… the part about [specific takeaway] really stuck with me. I’d love to connect and keep learning from your insights.

Why it works: It shows you listened. It’s not about the event, it’s about them.

Example 3: Mutual Connection Intro

Hey [Name], [Mutual contact] mentioned you’re doing exciting work at [company]. I’ve been researching [topic] lately, and I’d love to compare notes or hear what you’re learning.

Why it works: It positions you as a peer, not a beggar.

What to Say After You Connect (Without Being Annoying)

Once someone accepts your request, don’t jump straight to an ask.
Instead, continue the conversation:

Comment thoughtfully on something they post.
Share an article or insight that builds on their point.
Ask a question that sparks dialogue, not advice.

Example:

“You mentioned your team was exploring unmoderated testing - how has that worked in your context?”

You’re not chasing attention. You’re creating conversation.

Follow-Up That Feels Natural, Not Forced

Follow-ups often fail because they sound mechanical. Try this instead:

Follow-Up Example 1: After a Chat

Thanks again for taking the time to chat - I really appreciated hearing about how you scaled your research ops team. I’ve already applied one of your tips, and it’s made a difference.

Follow-Up Example 2: After Time Has Passed

Just wanted to say your advice on stakeholder storytelling has stayed with me. I used it recently in a project, and it helped secure buy-in. Hope your team’s doing well!

This isn’t just politeness, it’s continuity. Relationships grow when they don’t end after one exchange.

Networking for Introverts

If big social energy isn’t your thing, here’s what works:

1:1 messages > group chats. It’s easier to connect deeply in small spaces.
Written > verbal. Thoughtful messages can build just as much trust as calls.
Focus on curiosity, not charm. Curiosity is the most likable trait you can have.

You don’t need to be extroverted to network well, just intentional.